Acceptance can be difficult for a lot of people. Change, even more so. At some point, we will find that there are parts of ourselves that we’re not willing to let go. Probably because we’ve become so accustomed to that identity that we sometimes fail to see that we can do and even deserve more than who we think we are now. Self-development can be a complicated and pressure-filled process. But it can happen. It has happened with a lot of people. It continues to happen, sometimes even without our recognizing it.
I’ve recently discovered from reading Leo Babauta’s Zen Habits that I am NOT an aggressive person. I tried to be. I want to be. But it’s not me. Perhaps when I was younger, people would describe me as soft-spoken. I am. I guess I still am, although time has made me a little more… bitchy, for lack of a better word 😏.
The point though is that I’ve changed. I didn’t think I would but I have. Despite this change, I know I can do so much better if I didn’t try to be anyone I’m not because trying to be someone is a waste of the person I am. After all, I am who I am.
Coping with reality (especially for a hardcore idealist like me) can be challenging, but the best way to do so is simply to accept.
My need for aggression (or assertion, at least) has driven me to think that I have to be aggressive in the same way other people are. But I don’t. I really don’t. I can be gentle and yet strive to put myself out there to make things happen. Gentle aggression is possible albeit ironic, although what in life isn’t?
Learning to Love Simplicity
My uncle, Confucius, said it best.
“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”
To rephrase, the things that make everything else complicated are man-made but the essence of it all is simple. And if we learn to become more conscious and aware of ourselves, we become also more conscious and aware of others.
Creating Gentle Habits
Perhaps I’ve tried to overdo my quest for productivity and success. Many times I hear from those around me and from the books I read how you have to almost ruthlessly keep going after what you want. You only have one life. Etc, etc.
You do only have one life but living it in a stressful way is just not essential to that one life you’re trying to live. In Nursing I’ve learned that we need stress. We need it as a stimulus. And what do we when there’s a stimulus? We react to it. It’s how we react that matters.
I don’t believe we have to be stressed all the time in order to live life fully.
I don’t believe in wrinkles due to stress too. Now wrinkles due to aging is essential. It’s beautiful even. But wrinkles due to overthinking, over-compromising, and just plainly over-working yourself is just frustrating. The world has enough frustrations as it is. Don’t have wrinkles! Just kidding.
Learn to live slowly but surely. (It will lessen the possibility of bad cholesterol buildup in your body too. 😉)
Imagine everything you can be and everything you are without trying to be anyone else. The possibilities are almost infinite. Trying to be someone you aren’t puts a limit on those possibilities because you’re putting a standard in front of you of the exact person you want to become. Let go of those as much as you can. That one life depends on it. 🙂