People judge those with few friends. They quickly claim you have none at all. Chances are, however, you do have close friends. They’re just not as many as the rest of society believes to be the right amount.
When it comes to friendship, you’d want quality over quantity anyway. If we’re talking about connections, sure, quantity can get you very far. But you can’t expect you’re connections to be there for you during your lowest lows or highest highs. They’re simply meant to connect not necessarily to be your BFF.
As introverts, we’re kind of wildly misunderstood beings. Part of the reason for this is that introverts just don’t care to explain to other people who they are. And who can blame us? Even if we try or not, people are still going to judge.
Nevertheless, here, a list of why I don’t like talking about community and friends as an introvert:
Clearing things up about introverts
Number one clarification: introversion is about energy. While extroverts feed off of the energy of being around people, introverts are more energized with alone time.
It’s not about being shy at all and it’s not about hating people or social events. Introverts just have a different way of recharging, so to speak.
With that out of the way, talking about community and friends just doesn’t seem appealing to me. Yes, I understand that community and friends are very important parts of our lives but I don’t think there’s anything much to add to that.
I think we should focus more on cultivating the relationship rather than talking about it.
Cultivating relationships means being thoughtful about the other person, knowing when their birthdays are coming up, sending them a message to show them your remember, being there especially when they need you.
Another reason is that the word “community” has become such a buzzword on social media. I get that people are on the lookout for their “tribes” but I think the way you find them is by sharing your own thoughts and experiences.
When you share and contribute to the space you want to be a part of, you allow people to resonate with your words and experiences and hopefully build some form of connection.
It’s really brilliant that thought leaders and influencers have come to build their own communities because it provides the rest of the population a chance to be a part of a group of people who share similar values and characteristics. And within those communities, you can even form a sub-community or sub-group of people whom you really vibe and find a deeper connection with.
But all these things happen because you set out there and shared your own thoughts so others can find you as opposed to simply using the word community and talking about it abstractly.
Be the friend you want to have
Last but not least, I believe the best way to establish/ find communities and meaningful friendships is when you start to become the friend you’ve always wanted to have. In that way, you attract what you put out there. Talking about communities and friendships is good but doing your part in making those connections, friendships, and ultimately, communities happen is even better.
What you put out there comes back to you. When you stay silent, you can’t expect people to just come and be your friend. But when you choose to challenge yourself even in tiny ways to share a kind comment or a thoughtful “Thanks!” to others, you’ll find yourself winning not just a “like” but also a friend along the way.
Don’t be so busy with your own life that you forget that there are other people around you. These people might not seem to help you win your way towards the success you have in mind, but their support and friendship is much valuable in levels you may not expect.