Last December 13, 2016 marked my 27th year on earth. I couldn’t help but think about all the things I’ve been through as a person that has only sadly done one thing: bring me down. That’s the thing about thinking too much about the past: you stay in the past and it weighs you down as if you’re carrying a huge rock everywhere you go. And although I keep talking about moving on and moving forward, I never really do. I don’t even move some days.
Doing What You Love
Since starting college, negativity has crept inside my thoughts. For one thing, I did not want to study Nursing. I was convinced by my mother and aunt, who spent for my college education, to take up Nursing because it was trendy at the time. I wanted to study Computers and Technology.
Looking back, I know I can’t take back time, rewind it, and do exactly the things I would have loved to do. I firmly believe that there’s a reason why things happen in one’s life though I’m not entirely sure what that reason is until now. I may never know but I think that’s why people call it ‘Faith.’ You believe in something even though you’re not completely sure about it.
Five years after graduating from college, I find myself writing again.
I haven’t studied Computers and Technology yet but I have been to places and done things that I couldn’t possibly have imagined before.
Sometimes, we fail to see the many little successes we’ve accomplished because we are so focused on what success is supposed to be and how it’s supposed to look and feel like.
In that span of several years I spent in college, I met the person whom I love until this very moment. I got to know friends who understand what I’m all about. I went through experiences that don’t always make me feel proud but still leave a smile on my face.
Owning Your Mistakes
Your mistakes make you the person you will become.
If something doesn’t work, it’s not the end. Your reaction to your own mistakes signifies whether it’s the end or not.
Now I wasn’t always positive… I understand that there are times when falling down is the only way out. Breaking down ironically brings out feelings of comfort–at least for me. Doing otherwise is not healthy.
When you need to cry, you cry. When you have to fall and break into pieces, you need to fall and break until it comes to a point where you run out of tears and you have no more pieces left in you to break.
And then it’s just you and a decision: will you remain or will you move?
My mistakes taught me to move. It doesn’t matter whether I moved forward or otherwise, but I moved. And that, for me, was a thousand times better than staying and wallowing in the darkness.
Developing Your Talents
Ever since my parents broke up before I turned 12, I usually did not look forward to any of my birthdays. The only thing I would expect every birthday was a stream of tears because I knew something disappointing was about to happen.
On my 27th birthday, my boyfriend’s mother sent me a gift. It was cash. I was surprised but more than delighted. I rarely received gifts. I told her about my experience with birthdays. I told her I don’t look forward to them anymore. She told me that I shouldn’t think that way, that I’m young and I should still be excited about my own birthday.
There were many ways I could have responded but I accepted and thanked her. She might probably have thought I thanked her for the money she gave me but it was more than that.
She gave me hope and I used that to strengthen my own beliefs, to develop my own talents, to thrive in whatever situation I find myself in. Hope is why I keep learning and writing and pursuing the things that I want to do.
My last two birthdays have taught me, more than anything, that the best gifts that we have aren’t material things but the relationships we cultivate with other people. Friendship is a funny thing: you don’t know for sure that you’re friends with someone until you realize how special the moments spent with them are.
Birthdays for me used to be a sign that I’m about to experience another ordinary day, but now I’ve realized there’s nothing ordinary about being a year older. It’s special and it should be cherished with the people close to our hearts. Happiness isn’t just around the corner, it might just be beside you, waiting to be talked to. 🙂