I haven’t posted for so long about my graduation because, truly, I am reluctant to talk about it… for personal reasons. I mean, (college) graduation is supposed to be the happiest moment of a student life, right? It’s supposed to be that moment when you officially separate your “student” self to become “temporarily couch potato” self. But, as it turns out, my Graduation Day was a sort of back and forth trip to hell.
It wasn’t the people, it was the circumstance. I’m not particularly fond of pointing fingers but I certainly am tired of blaming myself for every natural calamity that befalls mankind. I mean, in this world that we live in, you can only blame yourself so much… before you suddenly realize it’s getting rather pathetic. We are human, we err, but eventually we learn. And that’s it.
So, to carry on on a lighter note, I would like to share a photo of me that a new “friend” took:
See, I made a new “friend” because I was late and was not seated on my assigned seat. In fact, I sat beside other graduating students from another course! And because I didn’t attend a single graduation practice, he became “friendly” enough to orient me to the proceedings of the event-slash-unfortunate-circumstance-I-shamelessly-put-myself-in. My new “friend” instructed me to go this way and that way and to make a bow at that point and then fly away back to my original seat (which I still had no idea where because I didn’t practice, thank you). It was just so great to be in the dark, sitting right there in the middle of all that mid-day heat.
Anyhow, eventually, I figured out a way to get closer to my college batchmates and to sort myself alphabetically so that I could belong to them.
During the calling of names, however, I suddenly had a moment of adrenaline rush. When I heard “AQUINO, ELAINE ROSELLE” being announced by one of our clinical instructors, I jumped and overtook the person in front of me. It is important to note that (1) I failed to realize that I had to wait for the person in front of me to receive her diploma first before I step in to receive mine and (2) the act was foolishly memorable yet, by all means, unintentional. I felt so guilty. I apologized sincerely and, as I’m writing this, I guess the morale to be learned from my personal catastrophe comes from the line that says: “nobody needs to be a failure for you to be a success.” It is ALWAYS NOT WORTH IT to degrade or put down any person to achieve a goal or just so you could get what you want. I rest my case, your honor.
Speaking of honor, I didn’t get any honorable mentions. That’s all. Hahah.
Despite the internal and interpersonal conflict I faced during graduation day, what kept me strong was what mattered most: GRADUATION– the ultimate goal of my student life and, frankly, any student’s life for that matter. I did not fuss anymore over who came or did not come to witness my graduation. I just wanted to savor the moment. I was hurt, yes, but nothing compared to the feeling of overcoming five years of tertiary education. Five years of learning a field I did not initially want to be a part of. But God has His Own Ways of showing us He loves us. He may not have allowed us the things we wanted then, but look at where He has placed us now and look at the people He let us meet. He truly loves us more than we think, feel and deserve.
Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam!