When You Are In the Messy Middle

There was a slight dilemma in our household when I was about 12. I was the eldest of 5 siblings. Our mom was not around. Our dad wasn’t either. The problem was that we were hungry. We had nothing to eat for the night. It was Christmas. And you know what my younger brother did? He went out caroling to our neighbor who gave him food and money. And because of that simple act of courage (being young is such a blessing because you don’t have much of the shame that we carry so much in adulthood), we were able to eat something for that night.

At the time, I thought life was not easy at all. Even then I knew. And this is why so much of what I experience now doesn’t even come close to the things we experienced at home in our childhood. This is also why I never thought much of boys or “boy problems” (because who has time and energy for those?)

In some way, I regressed so much when I got older. I became much more impulsive and childish as a young adult in stark contrast to being so mature and responsible as a child.

When you’re in the thick of all these experiences, you don’t know what goodness and learning moments can come as a result. The middle of the story always seems messy and incomprehensible. Mostly, confusing.

All you know is you have to survive. Whether it’s surviving literal hunger or unbearable, childish, raw emotions, you don’t really know what’s going to happen next.

Just like in the work we do everyday, we have no control of the outcome yet we do know what can happen now. There is always that faint hope of what could happen until we make it happen.

When you’re going gets tough, here are a couple of things to consider:

The F.R.A. Cycle (feel-release-adapt)

When the work you’re doing just doesn’t seem to excite or motivate you anymore, try to…

FEEL

All of it. All the frustrations. The anxiety. The uncertainty. The anger and pain. The lowest of lows. The unbearable boring-ness of the task at hand. The waiting for inspiration and motivation to come. The pressure. Then…

RELEASE

A lesson I gleaned from taking one of Brendon Burchard’s personal development classes is to “release tension, set intention.” Once you’ve felt everything there is to feel, let go of it. All of it. And if it helps, say it to yourself, think about it, or write it down. Say/ think/ write: “I let go of this stress. I let go of these frustrations. I release this tension. I release…”

ADAPT

Consider an alternate perspective and see things as blessings, not curses. Know that there are things beyond our control and so we must adapt to frustration, stress, and tension.

You could say/ write/ think to yourself, “I feel frustrated because I can’t work with so many people around me and I want to be alone but my situation calls for me to stay in this particular place. However, I KNOW I cannot control everything. I can only control these thoughts I’m having about this particular situation. I therefore release this tension. I release this stress. I see this situation as a blessing because the more people there is around me, the more inspiration I can get for the work that I’m about to do, and the more opportunity for me to visualize a truly ideal and specific state of work I can be in so I can manifest that in my life eventually.

See your frustration, stress, or tension as a point of creativity instead. Make something out of pure nothing. đŸ™‚

Mindset + Heartset

I don’t think either the mind (brain) or the heart is more important over the other. I think they are BOTH important, otherwise they both wouldn’t have existed. Each has a purpose and role such that the end result is to help you level up to a higher vibe and frequency as a fully supported individual able to accomplish and succeed.

Mindset is as important as “heart-set.”

—elaine aquino

Mindset is as important as “heart-set.” What is your heart telling you and what is it “set” on? Why does it feel that way?

Most of the time, we can’t explain why our heart feels what it feels but we know for sure it’s true. Like when you feel like you should be working on a particular idea you’ve been having for years now.

The problem is the heart knows the truth but the mind is sometimes not ready yet to acknowledge it because the mind has so many things going on at the same time. We’ve been conditioned to think so from our past. But what if you consult your heart as much as your mind? What if you consult your heart and train your mind to think in abundance?

There is an abundance of patience and energy in you to create what you need to put out into the world. There is time for everything. And you get to choose what happens next by doing the work now.

The prospect and vision of your project/ goal/ dream

Using emotion when it comes to visualizing and prospecting your goals and dreams is significant because it brings “feeling” into something that you can only imagine for now.

I do believe that once you feel it, you are able to harness the energy from that feeling and emotion into your work. This was how I wrote this article you are reading now. It is only my hope that you can feel the energy that I’m nurturing and cultivating in the message of this content.

I want you to feel that vibe and energy, to feel seen, supported, and fully able to go into work with a much renewed sense of the self that you truly are because the true you is so much more than the daily, lifeless tasks you don’t feel like doing.

You have the capacity to feel into the energy of your success and know that it’s on its way and when it does decide to lay on you all of its abundance, it will be much more delighted to find you hard at work on developing yourself and pursuing your goals and aspirations.


Dealing with problems in the moment is not as easy as setting your mind to deal with them now. Sometimes it will take many more moments to let the new affirmative thoughts sink in. Change isn’t supposed to happen instantly. It happens slowly and constantly, like watering plants to make them grow bigger and stronger. When you force a plant to grow overnight, that might happen but you’re robbing it the opportunity to grow DEEPER roots. And as we know, deep roots make strong trees. Feel into the mess of the middle. The ongoing work you’re doing is preparing you for the success you’re going to have and that success doesn’t always look like the one you have in mind but trust that it’s what’s meant for you at that certain point in time.

If you liked this post, maybe you’d also like my “coaching-style-vlogs” every Wednesday in your inbox? Subscribe to Weekly Ideas to get exclusive vlogs from me to you. Subscribe now.

Leave a Reply