Setting your own boundaries, not what society expects of you

Boundaries are crucial if you want to be free. It’s a paradox, I know. Aren’t you supposed to have no limits at all when you’re talking about freedom? But freedom is such a wonderful thing once you learn how to use it responsibly and creatively.

Some people use their freedom to talk unpleasantly about others and that’s just toxic. Here’s a thought: what if we use our freedom to talk nicely about someone EVEN IF they’ve done something terrible to you?

Talking crap about people is easy. But finding the good in them despite their viciousness is hard. It’s hard because you just want to strangle them and make them see things from your perspective. But they do have their own perspectives too and there might be no point at all in which both of your perspectives meet. Like parallel lines, you never meet halfway.

So what’s the solution? I suggest setting boundaries that work for you. Boundaries that challenge you. That aren’t easy but worthwhile. Talking about someone nicely is a certain boundary that society doesn’t expect. People will be taken aback by what you’re saying because they expect a more violent reaction. Some people love and thrive on drama. But not you. You like to shake things up for the better, not the worse.

Speaking of shaking things up, here are some tips to help you with life and work as a rebel:

About mornings and sleep

Full disclosure, I don’t wake up at 5am… or 6am… or 7am… or 8 or 9. SOMETIMES, I wake up before 9am but nowadays, what’s more important for me is the AMOUNT of sleep I’m getting. Do you know the disadvantages of being chronically sleep deprived? It’s VERY scary. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

Because I’m a full time mom and part time digital content creator/ blogger, I do have the luxury to set what time I want to wake up. But that doesn’t mean life is all cupcakes and rainbows. There are times when I still need to comply with the rest of the world’s waking hours/ office hours.

Of course, the best thing would be to wake up earlier than the rest of the household so you can allocate that time for yourself before anyone else unloads their demands on you. Just don’t pressure yourself to a 5am wake-up call just because people say it’s what all CEOs and successful people do. Define your own version of success.

Boundaries when it comes to mornings look like: knowing what time you’re comfortable when going to sleep and waking up. Also, making sure you have the right amount of sleep to function optimally during your waking hours.

Time management and monitoring

How we spend our lives is essentially how we use our time. Do you manage or monitor your time? For Rebel Tendencies, it’s hard enough that we don’t stick to a predefined schedule and now we also have to monitor our activities?

I think we should stick to what works for us best and not be afraid to challenge ourselves to try new things. If someone recommends calendar blocking, why not try if it works. If not, then we could just move on to the next method.

The beauty of trying to manage and monitor our time is that we know where our hours go. You become more aware of the things your spending your life minutes on. And once we’re aware, we’re able to question ourselves whether 4 hours on Netflix/ Facebook/ Instagram was really worth it. When we know the answer to that question, we can set healthy boundaries with regards to how we manage our time.

Boundaries when it comes to time management and monitoring look like: being able to point what activities are consuming your time and whether those activities are in alignment with your goals and with who you are.

Exercise

We already know all the benefits of exercise and, yet, some of us can’t stick to it regularly. Exercise is a vital part of any endeavor, whether you’re a first time mom/ parent or you want to start your own business. As rebels, we depend on the Strategy of Clarity to go after good habits. But we can’t have maximum clarity without moving and nurturing our bodies first. Self care takes effort but it pays in multiple amounts in the end.

Boundaries when it comes to exercise look like: being able to move your body and knowing your limits. It’s not good to over-exercise; you will just exhaust yourself. But there’s no point in under-exercising either because then you’re not able to maximize your body’s full potential. Limits look different for every person so you really need to listen to your body.

Values

Should people still set boundaries when it comes to their values? I believe so. Too much of anything is never a good idea. When you love someone and you show them you love them, things are great. But when you give too much and not leave anything for yourself, you will burn out. You will tire yourself needlessly. The best way to love others is to love yourself first.

Boundaries when it comes to your values look like: making sure you KNOW what you value first and not being too rigid about everything. When you know what you value, such as flexibility and freedom, you know what kind of limits to set. A little bit of balance surely helps as it makes sure you don’t get too depleted or, in contrast, you don’t get too lax either.

In Conclusion

Freedom requires limits. You need to know who you are in order to set your own boundaries. As with any endeavor, we have to assess ourselves.

What do you really want and what does it take to go after your goal?

Then when you know the answers to that question, you can create a life that’s built around your own terms. It’s also important to listen to the people who love and care about you but don’t let their opinion shape every decision you ever make. The most important boundary of all is between you and other people’s opinions. Take their opinions in respectfully but also know what works for you and what you believe in because, at the end of the day, your life is about your choices, not other people’s choices for you.

Photo by Michael Dziedzic on Unsplash