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Shifting negative emotions

Sat, May 15, 2021 | Read in 4 minutes

I once heard from a podcast…

That emotional intelligence is about reading the emotions (of oneself or others) in a room and then not responding immediately to those emotions.

It sounds a lot like Stoicism.

It also sounds like a man’s way of handling things (or emotions, lol).

I am not a man though and I have a feeling I come off as having more of a feminine than a masculine energy. (No shit, right?)

When it comes to others, I’m quite Stoic.

When it comes to myself, on the other hand, I am very emotional and sometimes I forget to not immediately respond to my emotions.

It’s hard when it’s your own stuff you’re dealing with because you can’t read the labels from inside the box.

You need to step out of your box first.

So one night, I decided to acknowledge all my feelings.

Feel them.

Accept them.

And release them.

Here is an abridged version of my journal for some common emotions we might feel and how we can look at them from the framework I introduced months ago called the FAR cycle:

For context, (F) is for Feel. (A) is for Acknowledge/ Accept/ Adapt. (R) is for Release.

This is for when you feel…


(F) I feel scared because I don’t know where the future will take my family and me.

(A) I don’t think I’ll ever know where the future will lead and that’s okay.

(R) It is safe to stay in the present. It is safe to be present, mindful, and intentional.


(F) I feel fragile because I feel like my confidence is destructible.

(A) I feel that my confidence is destroyed whenever I don’t see money in my bank account.

(R) My money mindset doesn’t have to depend on the number on my bank account. My money mindset is the result of my own prosperity consciousness. It depends on how consciously prosperous I feel within myself. And I can feel prosperous by being grateful for everything I have right now that I’ve wished for so much in the past.

I am oh so grateful for this life and for all the blessings I have received.

And it is safe to receive more.

I deserve the best and I am open to receiving only the best. I can be thankful even for things that are going to happen in my future. For the desires that have already happened and manifested for me.


(F) I feel weak because it is a couple of days before my period.

(A) And that is okay.

(R) Weakness is also a sign of strength. It shows me of how capable I am of being strong. I am also capable of changing my mindset around womanhood.

Affirmation from You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay: I am a powerful, dynamic woman.

I am grateful for the changes that regularly happen in my body to support me as a woman.

These changes and processes serve to elevate and empower my divine feminine energy.

Nothing is as important as being a woman. Nothing is as honorable as being a woman. Nothing is as spiritual and nourishing as being a woman. I love and accept my womanhood. God has given this special gift of womanhood and motherhood for me.


(F) I feel insecure because I keep comparing myself to others.

(A) I feel it’s the only way I can make myself relevant and respected. And that’s okay.

(R) I choose to let go of the feelings of guilt and shame around my feelings.

The reality is I am the most relevant person in my child’s life right now. I am so well respected by my partner and family.

Connection is what truly serves both me and the people I want to help: my audience, my tribe, my community.


(F) I feel unmotivated because I am not able to do well with creating enough content for this month.

(A) I am not able to create enough for this month because I keep telling myself that I have no time, energy, and space to create. And that’s okay.

(R) I choose to not guilt or shame myself into thinking and feeling worthless because I can’t create more in this season of my life.

Time is abundant. Energy is abundant. Space is abundant. I honor my own time, energy, and space. I honor the ebb and flow of daily living.

Seeing time as a scarce resource does not serve me. I choose to believe that work and business can happen in seasons and life is and will continue to be ongoing.

It is better to create a life I love than a career/ business I love with a life I hate.

My abundance mindset helps me trust in the process of not just business but also life.

I work hard in other areas of life that currently bring in income for me and my family. And that is what matters most for this season. I am doing this for the long term.