Trust In Your Creativity

Around ten years ago, when I was sixteen, I thought of starting a blog on WordPress. It was cool. I had fun mostly because I got to know a lot of good people within my first five posts.

I was a very curious teen then. I wanted to know so much about technology. I wanted to know so much about computers. The world was my digital playground.

And then my mother decided to enroll me in Nursing.

Fast forward, five years (or so) in college, I studied for the licensing exam and passed the board. I was a licensed nurse with no idea how I ended up that way!

I’ve always thought Nursing was a noble profession. I had nothing against it. But, as I jokingly told my friends, Nursing was not my calling; it was my mom’s. And I’m sure my mother meant well when she tried to force the course down my throat. After all, mothers do know best. But what I’m quite not sure is how much she knows me because I explicitly asked her not to make me take the course and go with Information Technology instead and she also explicitly refused. And I cried. And she saw me cry. But it was her decision or the highway.

I don’t regret it.

I’ve met a lot of people in Nursing. Brilliant people. Funny people. Smart people. Loving people. And one of those people became my partner. It was cool.

Fast forward four years from passing the board, I ended up in a foreign country, working my ass off on administrative tasks. This was still my mother’s decision. (Do you notice the trend now?)

I also explicitly told her I didn’t want to go to so-and-so country and what she did was she convinced her boss to convince me to visit so-and-so country just to try and check out the place and see if I vibe. I didn’t like it as much as home, naturally. But I stayed anyway. I stayed for my family. Because we needed the money.

Recently, I resigned from that admin job.

It took a lot of guts and a lot of people told me I’m going to have a hard time looking for a new job that’s as good as the one I recently had. A lot of people don’t know me. I don’t mind. I used to mind what other people said. It contributed to my own depression. So I let that go along with a lot of other things one has to let go in order to move on.

I’ve created a whole new online space.

I love this blog. I love every minute I spend time working on it. I love how I’m so excited about the work in progress and I love networking with people who share similar insights. It’s freeing and it’s pure joy.

Starting an online space is an endeavor that takes a lot of investment.

Some of these investments I can’t really afford. Some I could but am reluctant to invest in. When resources are scarce, you are left with only one thing that can guide your resourcefulness: creativity.

I’ve gone a long way from wanting to be in the Tech industry to failing myself and studying other things to pursuing a career that is out of my goals to going back to Tech and finally making things happen.

Time is the hardest investment to waste.

Money comes to a close second. Hence, even though I may have some resources right now, I decided I’m just not going to spend much today up until I can find some sort of solid ground or foundation. I’m not going to spend on exclusive memberships and content which I think I need now but are not really that urgent. I’m not going to spend much of my time being idle. Most of all, I’m not going to participate in things that simply make me unhappy and weak.

I trust in my creativity.

I suppose, in starting and struggling to create anything meaningful, we need to trust first that everything will be alright in the end. After all, as they say, if it’s not alright, then it’s still not the end.

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